Once upon a time there was a magical, forested land in the mountains. It had rivers flowing with bromine, and was home to many different kinds of goat.
One day, a certain goat named John decided to leave his mystical home and head for the city. Once he arrived there, he became confused among the crowds of people there. He went to buy food, but realised that he had no money. He decided that he had to rob Chase so that he didn't starve to death.
John could not just walk in and take the money. After all, he was just a simple goat with nothing but a canteen of bromine to drink. So he created a diversion by sending a computer virus with the dreaded Hotline Bling to all of the Chase’s ATM machines. When Hotline Bling loaded on to the ATM machines, they screamed in terrible agony and then exploded in a violent eruption of burnt money and bits of metal. The police arrived and tried to arrest John the goat, but he got away by spitting bromine at them.
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